Oops..it's been a while

It's been awhile since my last post..eeks! Lots has been going on and some decisions have been made. YEAH! We will be moving out of our apt and moving into a house on Nov. 1! YEAH!!! More room, big yard for the dogs, and no more noisy neighbors! A co-worker is getting married and decided to rent her house that she just bought a year ago. It's only two miles from where we currently live and it's a great house! We are still hoping to move closer to our families but we just couldn't handle apartment life much longer!

Since we will be in a house in Nov, we're going to start the process to foster/adopt. YEAHHHHHHHH! I said a few posts ago, we had decided to start "living" and to stop waiting for us to move. If we do move, then we can transfer classes/homestudy, etc to where we move. Also, no new updates from Em...she is only 5 months along so she still has awhile to make her decision.
There have been a few girls, on a message board that I frequent often, that were able to announce that they are finally pregnant! YEAH! Two of the girls had IVF and are pregnant with twins..how exciting! Another girl announced her pregnancy awhile back and she also had IVF and is pregnant with a little girl. I am so happy for them....they waited so long! It has also opened our eyes up to IVF and maybe, at some point, may be something we check more into.

The other big decision-one that I had no control over- is that the big trial that was supposed to start this coming Monday has been continued. UGH! I was not happy as the trial was supposed to last until Dec and then we'd finally be done! Instead, it is now set for February through May of next year. UGH UGH UGH! I guess the good thing is that I can now enjoy moving, start the adoption stuff sooner, and I'll be well prepared for the next trial..hopefully.

I think that is all that has really been going on with us for now...oh! How could I forget...football season! Go Colts! I can't wait to be able to go see them play at their new stadium...hopefully someday soon. Andy's mom is flying out here to visit the first week of October! I'm very excited to see her! It's always good to see family! Hopefully we'll be seeing some more family members this fall or early next year..I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Last post I said I was ready for fall...Fall starts this week! YEAH!

Moving forward..slowly

Andy and I have been doing lots of talking about the past year. We really hoped that we would have moved by now. Since we're still waiting, we decided we're just going to live like we're staying here and if we move, great! I think this is something we both realized we need to do. So....we're going to start to look for a house to rent here, start the adoption process here, and just live! No updates on Em. I'm hope she is doing ok and am very glad that she has someone to talk to about the decision she may make. This weekend has been pretty uneventful. Andy had to work last night so he slept the majority of the day yesterday as well as today.

Tomorrow we are going to meet up with our friend, Mike, and my cousin, Julie! I am very excited. Mike has finally met him a great girl and it just so happens to be my cousin! They met at our wedding and have been dating ever since. She lives in Kentucky and he lives here in Colorado. He plans on making the move back to Indiana soon as well. He is also from Indiana and is wanting to be closer to his family. Sound familiar?

No good news but no bad news either which is good news!

I think Andy and I are finally starting to settle into the routine of waiting and it's becoming "normal" for us. I am starting not to think about the whole moving thing as much which is good! We have also been busy doing "stuff". Last Saturday, we went to the Rockies game with Matt, Andy's brother, and Mike, our good friend. It was a lot of fun even though the Rockies lost. I had the best ice cold beer and ball park hot dog...well probably the best since it's been forever since I've had one. Sad part, I was feeling really happy after just one. =) Of course the guys had to tease me about it. While I was taking the fertility drugs as well as the few months leading up to taking the drugs, I decided no more alochol(not that I drank much before then). Yesterday, I got an early birthday present...a new bike! YEAH!!!! I'm trying to get back into the routine of working out, eating better, etc. Andy is getting his bike fixed this week and then we're going to start riding 3 or 4 times a week. I am so excited!!!

We have had a "situation" present itself in the past few weeks which has been kind of exciting. It is a possible adoption lead. YEAH! We're not getting our hopes up as it is way too soon. I have been think alot about Em and can't even imagine how hard this decision is for her. I have talked with my sister, Laura, a lot about this and how much respect I have for Em or anyone else that makes this decision. She is making a decision that will not only effect her and the baby she is having but also change the lives of a couple who can't have children on their own. I hope Em realizes how strong and brave she is to make such a tough choice. I hope that she has friends and family that are there to be able to support her. All of this has made us think alot more about adopting and helped us to realize that this really is the best choice for us. I have to admit, I'm nervous about the homestudy as I don't think that I'm the best at explaing myself sometimes, especially when I'm nervous! Andy says that he is the same way...hopefully we don't come off as two bumbling idiots. Eeks! Thankfully, I'm on a message board that has a lot of great women who have been through the process and are wonderful about answering questions and being supportive. It's amazing how people you've never met in real life can make such a huge impact even through the computer.

Bad news...

Andy got the call today and he is not moving on in the hiring process. UGH! Needless to say but we're both very disappointed. We were really thinking this was it...this is when we are finally going to get to move. I tried to keep it together when I was talking to him on the phone but once we hung up, the tears started falling. I really wonder if we will ever move, if we will ever be close to our families, if we'll ever get to start the adoption process. I know that God has a plan for us but right now it feels like it's never going to happen. Hopefully we'll find something soon....

In the meantime, we'll stay in the apartment...a.k.a. the cave. I call it the cave because the sun never really shines on our front patio...we are always in the shade. I guess it keeps the apartment cooler but it just always seems so dark. For me, the sun=happy.

Waiting....

It seems like that is what we're doing in regards to everything lately. We're still waiting to hear back from one of the police depts that Andy has been testing with. We're waiting to get out of the apartment we're currently in, waiting to start the adoption process, waiting to move, waiting to buy a house. The one thing that I can say is that I am having to really learn to be patient. Anyone who knows me knows that I hate waiting and hate uncertainty. I don't know why but I've always been that way. So maybe this whole thing is supposed to help me learn to be patient.
I know that there is a "plan" for us and will be revealed to us at some point...I just hope it involves us being much closer to our families!!

I saw this poem earlier today and just wanted to share it.

LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD
Once there were two women who never knew each other

One you do not remember, the other you call Mother
Two different lives shaped to make you one

One became your guiding star, the other became your sun
The first one gave you life, and the second taught you to live it

The first gave you a need for love, the second was there to give it
One gave you a nationality, the other gave you a name

One gave you a talent, the other gave you aim
One gave you emotions, the other calmed your fears

One saw your first sweet smile, the other dried you tears
One made an adoption plan, that was all that she could do

The other prayed for a child, and God led her straight to you.

Now, which of these two women, Are you the product of?

Both, my darling, Both, Just two different types of love

Wow...it's been awhile...

It's been over a month since my last blog. It's been way too busy at work..just finished a homicide trial and getting ready to start one in March that will last until June!!! EEKS! Let's see...what's new since last time...Andy still hasn't heard anything back from any of the police depts. We're still anxiously awaiting to hear something.

We did make some decisions regarding the fertility drugs as well as adoption. We decided that I would stay off of Clomid until the trial finishes in June. It has been amazing feeling "normal" and not being on an emotional roller coaster ride! Andy likes having his "real" wife back. =) Also, we decided it was best to stop taking it as I wouldn't be able to take off of work for all the dr. appts and if it did happen to work this time, we were concerned all the stress wouldn't be good for the baby. This decision also means no baby for us in 2008 which makes me really sad. We were really hoping that we'd be adding to our family this year. The decision to stop taking the fertility drugs really made me feel like we were sort of giving up even though I know it's for the best right now.

We received the packets from the adoption agencies and we have found one that we really liked! The most interesting thing is that the adoption agency we chose is one that used to have a maternity home. The maternity home is where my birthmother was until she gave birth to me. It's just another one of those "interesting" connections that have popped up in my life. The adoption process is on hold until we move as well. The cool thing that gives me hope is that on a message board that I'm on has had several families receive "the call". I'm so happy and excited for them. Hopefully, one day we'll receive "the call".

I have to say our lives "being on hold" until we move is very hard but I know will be more than worth it once we do move!!

Happy New Year!

I can't believe it's 2008 already!! 2007 flew by! I can remember about a year ago, Andy and I were talking with our friend Mike. We were already for 2006 to be over. He told us that 2007 was going to be a great year for all of us. He was right! We officially decided we were going to start trying to conceive as well as start the process to move closer to our families. Andy applied to several police departments in Indiana and has started the hiring process with 2 departments. In August, we put our house on the market. We sold it in 2 months and was very happy with selling price. In November, we moved into an apartment which has been an adjustment for us and the dogs but that was the step we needed to take before we moved. The very last day of 2007, Andy received a call from one of the police departments he is testing with and they scheduled an interview for this Thurs. YEAHHHHHH!

On Monday, I had to get Mike's prediction for 2008 since the one for 2007 was a good one. He said 2008 is going to be even better for all of us. I'm keeping my fingers crossed! He is also trying to move back to the midwest to be closer to his family and his girlfriend(who happens to be my cousin).

I decided not to do resolutions this year but goals-eat more healthy, work on our budget/savings, exercise more, and to be a better wifey. I know our two goals as a couple is to move as well as have a baby. I will probably do 2-3 more IUI's and then we'll start the adoption process. I'm very excited about starting the process and have been doing lots of research and reading on it. I guess our first goal of moving will have to happen first.

Another goal that I have is to meet my birth sister, Charlotte. We have been e-mailing for about 4 years now but haven't ever met. It's something that I've always thought about and am at the point that I'm ready for this to happen. I look at her picture alot to see if I see any resemblance. I think we have the same cheek bones and smile but that's about it. I've seen pictures of my birth brother and we have the same nose. Up until a few years ago, I could never say that I looked like someone. I always would look at strangers to see if I saw some resemblance. Never did.

Ok, enough with my rambling for now. =) I wish everyone a Happy New Year!