Memories

This week has been an emotional week. I found out that a friend that I had growing up, passed away on Monday. She was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in 2007, did chemo, cancer was gone, and then it came back. She unfortunately lost the hard fought battle to cancer. She has three kids who are now without their mommy. Hearing about Traci's passing really shook me, she's the same age as me and her life was ended way before it should have. Please keep her family and children in your prayers as they have lost an amazing daughter, sister, mother, and friend.

Two years ago today my grandmother passed away. She had been in a nursing home for several years due to having Alzheimers. My grandma was the only grandma that I had as my dad's mom passed away before they adopted me. Growing up, I was lucky that my grandparents were still at age where they were very active in my life..babysitting me, taking me fishing, go to my dance recitals, go to my softballs games, etc. My grandma was always there to give encouraging words and just there to support me. Even when I was being a brat, she would jsut say "Now Sara.." I loved hearing the stories about her as a child growing up as well as the stories about my mom as a child. One of my grandma's favorite things to say to me was, "Sara, you're getting taller". My grandma was probably 5'1" or 5'2" and I was 5'10" by my sophmore year in high school.

As her Alzheimer's progressed, she obviously forgot lots and didn't recognize anyone as time went on. The last time I saw my grandma was a couple of days before our wedding. I was telling her about our upcoming wedding and how excited I was and she said, I really liked being married..it made me happy. She apologized for not remembering who I was and I said that's ok gradma, because I remember you...and she said"you do?" and had big smile on her face. As we were getting ready to leave, I gave her a hug and told her that I loved her. She said she loved me and then as I stood up from hugging her, she said.."are you getting taller?" It's amazing how that one small phrase can mean. Realistically, I know that it was just something she said, probably something she has said to others and didn't necessarily have a meaning to her. But for me, it was a small glimmer of the grandma that I grew up with.

I'm glad that she is no longer suffering but I really miss her and her warm smile. Grandma's are good for that. My grandma always would make an afghan for every grandchild when they had their first child. When Andy and I first started talking about having kids, it all of a sudden popped in my head that I would never get one of those for my child. I know it's something small but it was something she was always so proud of being able to do for her great-grandchild. I am very glad that I have several other things that she made-crocheted snowflakes for our Christmas tree. Any time I'm missing my grandma, Andy always reminds me that she is looking down on us and still with us in spirit. It is nice to know that she's up there pulling for us. She's finally "taller" than us. =)